Walmart and ABC Solve Gun Violence Forever

There were a number of mass shootings recently that have left our nation shaken for… what, the ninetieth time? We’re getting a lot of mass shootings, and while our politicians fumble and fail to accomplish anything meaningful, it’s up to the private sector to step up and do what none of us would have ever dared to dream: fix the problem.

Yes, that’s right. Walmart and the ABC TV network have solved gun violence. Let’s see how they did it, shall we?

Vice Games reports that Walmart sent out some internal memos over the last week with some very clear instructions: remove demos and ads for video games that include violence.

The notice reads…

“IMMEDIATE ACTION: Removing Signs and Displays Referencing Violence.

Review your store for any signage or displays that contain violent images or aggressive behavior. Remove from the salesfloor or turn off these items immediately. Use your best judgement when determining whether an element is appropriate. If you are unsure, remove the item or turn it off as a precautionary measure.”

 
To be fair, this doesn’t only include video games (which they call out by name), but also videos playing in the sporting goods store and any movies that might be playing in Electronics. To be less fair, it doesn’t say anything about NOT SELLING GUNS, which Walmart still does in many places. But that’s okay, because without violent media to act as an inspiration, no one would even know what to do with a gun, right?

But they’re not the only heroes stepping up to the challenge of stopping gun violence. As I mentioned, ABC is also doing their part by canceling a planned hour-long showcase of an Apex Legends eSports event, “out of respect for the victims and all those impacted by recent shootings.” Instead, they replaced it with a documentary on hockey. It would have been Apex Legend’s first appearance on TV.

Which would have been a lot more understandable, expect ABC was still broadcasting shows like The Rookie, Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D, and How to Get Away with Murder, so… I guess their “respect” only extends as far as video games.

But that’s okay. Because with that, we’ve solved gun violence people. Everyone grab a semi-automatic rifle to celebrate.