Nintendo Tries to Remove Bowser's PP From the Internet

Nintendo is known for two things: creating some excellent consoles with amazing first-party support, and generally being dicks to their fans. From failing to support — and even actively sabotaging — the Super Smash Brothers esport scene, to aggressively taking down fan works and projects, Nintnedo’s lawyers are famously aggressive and will go to great lengths to crush anything they deem as a threat, even if it’s done in the spirit of affection and reverence.

...sometimes, though, the takedowns make a bit more sense. Such as how Nintendo lawyers have recently gone after 3D modeler AkkoArcade, who was offering a fully-rendered source-filmmaker Bowser penis on their patreon page. A penis designed specifically so people can make source filmmaker porn of Bowser. You know, the Nintendo character, and antagonist of Mario, the most iconic character in video games.

...it’s not really hard to see why Nintendo might take issue with the peen.

Anyway, I’m not going to link to the penis itself, because… y’know, family website and all… but trust me when I say that it was quite the specimen, and had all the little details that communicate this isn’t just any set of genitals — they’re specifically the property of the King of Koopas. Kotaku was the one who broke the story, so, if you really want to see em’ for yourself, you can check it out there.

Of course, there’s an equally good chance you’ll still see this peepee if you’re a Bowser porn aficionado, because while it has, indeed, been removed from Patreon, AkkoArcade has already uploaded it somewhere else, for source filmmakers to use at their leisure. Which means if Nintendo’s lawyers really want to keep this turtle tucked, they’ll need to keep hunting it down, searching the web exhaustively for every place that monument of sin is erected and try to blow it down.

Sometimes, I really like this job.