Do you wish you could possess the power of this strong, mighty stallion, vigorously running in an open pasture with unbounded sexual energy?
Then all you have to do is drink his semen.
At least that’s what the folks behind the Hokitika Wildfoods festival in New Zealand say. They’re offering up $10 shots of horse semen to curious—neigh, insane—festivalgoers hoping to get a boost of energy from a so-called delicacy. And because consuming regular-old semen would just be boring, these shots come spiked with flavors like cherry and licorice. Which does prove one thing: There is something more disgusting than this medical procedure.
Lindsay Kerslake, the Australian breeder who got the idea to serve his stallions’ semen shots at the festival, told The Australian that “horses are pure testosterone—they have hardly any cholesterol, so the idea is you knock it back and feel like a stallion yourself.” And then, the best quote: “You’ll have as much zizz as a stallion for a week afterwards.”
While we’ll leave you to debate just what exactly “zizz” means—and contemplate the exact circumstances you’d have to face to even think about taking a shot—Mike Keenan, the organizer of the festival, gives us the semen scoop. “I think it’s just a joke to be honest,” Keenan says. “Because the horse is such a big creature, I dare say that people love to spread rumors that the semen will be as good as Viagra. It’s all rather tongue-in-cheek.”
Not that Keenan minds the rumors. The 22-year old festival has featured strange feasts like ostrich pie, worm sushi, and wasp ice cream, but Hokitika’s never had this kind of international media attention before, Keenan says. “Semen has caught the world’s imagination!”
We’ll say. A couple years ago we saw Johnny Knoxville and his Jackass gang drink equine sperm in a vomit-inducing stunt, but now that people overseas are willingly swigging the stuff, we wonder: Could it actually work?
Maybe, according to Patrick Meyers, DVM, a horse reproduction specialist and breeder from Ontario. (We’re sorry we asked . . .) There’s a testicular hormone in high concentrations of semen called DHEA, which some athletes use to boost their athletic performance, Meyers says. And a 2006 study found that men over 65 who took DHEA supplements saw a significant increase in their testosterone levels. But beware—it’s also possible for DHEA to actually increase guys’ estrogen levels, according to Meyers. (Speaking of men-threatening foods, read why soy might be the most dangerous food for guys.)
If you needed another reason why this might not be such a great idea, Meyers says that sometimes horses carry a nasty virus called equine viral arteritis in their semen. “I’m not sure if it has any effect in humans, since it’s digested and destroyed in the stomach, but there’s lots of potential here for things to go wrong,” he says.
And lastly, don’t forget that you’d probably be swallowing little horse babies with every mouthful you take. Meyers ships off his stallions’ sperm to mares all over the U.S. and Canada, and says that sperm can be preserved for up to 36 hours if it’s placed in a milk-based extender. That’s likely how the semen shots will be stored until they’re served at Hokitika, which opens March 12.
Listen, it’s your prerogative to drink horse semen. (As Meyers says, “We might find a new market for our product!”) But there are plenty of other—read: normal—ways to boost your testosterone. Want to tap into your secret source of sexual stamina, energy, and drive? Check out 5 Easy Ways to Increase Your Manpower and how to maintain your T-levels. (And there’s a brand-new testosterone drug called Fortesta that just hit pharmacies.)
And to our brave Kiwi friends about to do what few have done before, we say good luck—and Godspeed.
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